A Pacifist Remembers November 8, 2010
Posted by dreamom in Faith, family, Happiness, Life, Parenting, Peace.1 comment so far
It is times like this when I feel like my inner Old Lady makes an appearance. Maybe that is because my grandmother was the biggest pacifist I knew.
When I was growing up we would solemnly attend the neighbourhood Remembrance Day Ceremony, and pay respect to the people lost in wars – both in the World Wars, and wars all over the world. I remember distinctly that the ceremony always talked about the loss of civilian lives as well as the fallen heroes who worked in the military. I also remember the old shaky voices of the veterans as they talked about the experience of being in war, and imploring us as the future to not let it happen again. War was not about creating heroes or an opportunity for hero worship, but a horrible, catastrophic event that was to be avoided.
My young child mind took this to heart, and believed that these veterans were begging us to consider the cost of war, and that it was not heroes that came home, but heartbreak. Add this to the experience of having a very publicly pacifist grandmother, and I became a very pacifist me.
All that was during the Golden Age for Canada, when we were not a country at war. Now, everything is different. Some people don’t understand that while people made fun of our military for being ‘wimpy’, they were serving the essential role of “Peacekeepers”. That was a position to be proud of! Although we definitely made mistakes in that role, it was evident to the world that we valued Peace, and as such valued people. Not just the people on the ‘right side’, but the innocent people who lose their homes, livelihoods and lives when wars break out in their neighbourhoods.
Now we are a country at war. We have an active military presence in countries and we are not there to make peace. We are there inflicting our brand of justice on ‘the wrong side’, and taking civilians down in our path. That changed everything. It changed the way the world viewed us. It changed the way the people in active service viewed themselves. It changed the way that we as Canadian lay people viewed the military. It changed the way that we, Canadians, viewed the world.
Nowhere is this more evident than with the current Red vs. White Poppy controversy. There is a complete disconnect for people as to what the point is. As kids we were taught that the colour red was significant because it symbolized the blood that was spilled – the blood that flowed on the ground like rivers to lower ground – the blood that filled the waters of seas and bays, and lakes, lapping on the shore in place of the beating heat that it just left . There was no distinction of WHOSE blood. None of it was glory – just loss. That red poppy is supposed to remind us of the loss.
The white poppy is white to be a reflection of the ideal. White represents purity, and the absence of the ‘blood’ is certainly the ideal. It doesn’t suggest that anyone sacrificed in vain, but that going forward we should maintain that purity. It is a hope that new lives won’t be lost, and that peace will reign in our land, and others.
In reality it is fitting to have both. The red to remind us of the bloodshed, and to allow us to remember the cost of war on a personal level. It is in keeping the words of those WWI, and WWII veterans – the ones who implored us to lead the world down a different path so that wars would end, and peace would prevail – that we also wear the white to remind us to work towards peace in any and all situations.
Instead the whole thing has turned into a pacifist vs. veterans thing. People talk about pacifists as though they are heartless extremists who want to defile the memory of people lost in wars, and sully the experiences of those veterans who came home from wars forever changed by their experiences. There are ‘Support the Troops’ drives that people are bullied into, or labelled as traitors and ingrates if they feel that it is more about supporting the war than the troops. There is a stigma put on the white poppy, and now the Canadian Legion is talking of SUING people for wearing or supporting the white poppy campaign. Really? REALLY?! For supporting peace, and for supporting NO MORE OF OUR MILITARY BEING KILLED people want to tar and feather us?
I don’t get it. I don’t get why the notion of peace is incongruent with supporting the troops and their families, by our interest to GET THEM HOME. I don’t understand why a girl during the Gulf War was spit on and beat up for having a peace sign on her cheek. I don’t understand why the RCL is wanting to sue people for promoting peace. I don’t understand people being upset that you support the troops, but not the war.
This Remembrance Day, as all the others that my children remember I will be supplementing the message they hear at the Remembrance Day Ceremony and will be recounting the words of those veterans I heard speak as a child. The ones that hoped that their experience was not in vain, and that future generations would be able to live in peace, and that the lives of their comrades were not lost in vain, but resulted in saving others from being lost.
This Pacifist remembers the lives lost, and in response, out of a moral conviction, out of heartbreak, and out of respect for all those lost in wars – promotes peace.
Oooohhhhh. Now I get it… November 3, 2010
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There was a time that my idea of being green was putting on a green shirt. Oh! You meant environmentally friendly? Um…. I knew about recycling, but hated the idea of SORTING my GARBAGE. Then I moved to a town, and became friends with granola types. You know the ones… Recycle everything, only buy organic, from there the spectrum widens out, and it is a bottomless definition. One of my friends stopped eating meat becasue it isn’t a ‘green’ food. One lived in a yurt – got water from rain and the river, and lived without things like hydro, and other modern conveniences. One tended to be involved in all those ‘grassroots’ groups that granola’s tend toward.
So how far down the rabbit hole am I? Well – much like my homeschooling method, I am… Eclectic. I am big on natural birth, and infant feeding, homeschooling, organic unprocessed food, recycling, composting, reducing, reusing, fair trade… Most recently I have learned more about natural medicine, and about the evils of all things plastic, and been trying to eradicate it from the house.
About six months ago I read a friends post about not being able to sustain the lifestyle of a granola. At the time I thought “What! She is abandoning a crunchy lifestyle!” Okay, so she wasn’t the one that was living ‘off the grid’, but she was surrounded by granola’s, and seemed to think that most things were a good idea. This friend is (not to offend any other friends I have but…) is one of the most practical people I know. Although I can’t adopt everything she does (mostly because that would be irritating 
) she is ONE friend I would like to be more like. She is practical, positive, and has been nothing but a blessing to my life. In addition to appreciating a similar lifestyle, she is Christian, and she is a flybaby. I read this post, and I couldn’t see it, and wondered how this would play out.
Since this post that she wrote, I can honestly say that I have not seen her – between us having lived in another province when she came to this realization, and having not been able to catch up with her since moving back, I am not sure how this new philosophy translates into her lifestyle. What I know is that this family invested a lot into bicycles for the bulk of their transportation (another way I would LOVE to emulate her…). Have they tossed the bikes out for driving the family van everywhere? Nope. I don’t know for certain what didn’t make the cut, but here is what I do know…
She made the decision to cut the crunchiness for practical reasons. She has not changed who she is (from our Facebook, Twitter, and blog connections). Exercise, and biking is still important. Kids are still important. Their education, happiness, and character development is still important. Yup. She hasn’t changed.
After the last move where the ‘company paid for everything’ and I realized that it is somehow still REALLY expensive. Add to that the expense of trying to live green, and we were clearly buckling under the pressure. Trying to replace all the plastic, and replace things with ‘greener’ alternatives – we couldn’t do it. Not on my husbands pay, and not with the end of his contract looming over our heads.
Oooohhhhh. Now I get it… Are the things I want to do noble? I think so. Are they all doable? No. Somewhere you have to draw your line in the sand, and say “This is what I can do.” For us that means that we will be storing food, and other stuff in plastic. It means that I will buy the best food I can with the money I have. It means not throwing the baby out with the bath water. I think my blogging friend would be proud. Well. Really I expect her to say ‘It’s about time!’ Now I will spend the next few months figurng out what this realization DOES look like for our family.
Recently I have had the opportunity to become friends with a person online who is the poster child for the dark side of activism, among other things that she never asked to be a part of. It has made it clear to me that bandwagons can leave a lot of destruction and carnage in their path, and we need to consider that when deciding which ones to be a part of. I am sleeping better at night knowing that I am moderating myself a lot more closely.
Birdy! Wait up! I’m jumping off too!
Getting Down To Business October 18, 2010
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As you can tell by the throngs of people who visit, never mind follow my blog (trust me – your it), this is not a super popular blog. Why should it be, really? My commitment to write has been sporadic at best, and to be honest I have done little to increase my readership, short of whining to the empty void of the internet.
Okay, I USED to have it linked to my Facebook – but decided that I might not want people I know reading EVERY post. So I quit that. If my Facebook people didn’t hunt me out, they think I just didn’t post at all. I have never referred it on Twitter – I guess I feel like maybe it doesn’t measure up to those that I read from the Twitter crowd. From “Natural Mom Loves Prada” to “The Feminist Breeder“, there are some REALLY good blogs out there, who have important things to say, and in a great way (I still love the TFB entry that broke the internet – who doesn’t!)
Long and short of it is I have not spent time dedicated to writing. I have not put in the work to make mine a blog that people seek out. Why am I going on about this? I was looking at signing up for getting free stuff from a company for reviewing their stuff – who wouldn’t like stuff. In the process of signing up it asks what your blog is about. EEK! Looking back, large spans are about… nothing. There is nothing there. No entries, or one that sucks – sure there are a few gems, but not many…
Finally I decided that I need to not sign up. I need to spend some time working on writing more often, and increasing the quality of the writing. I need my blog to say something about me, other than I am flighty (because I don’t think I am). So. My gentle Reader(s). I am going to try to start writing more, and am going to work on making it mean something.
Heartaches October 13, 2010
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The heart is a funny thing. You can feel passionately about a million different things, sometimes CONFLICTING things. I am an activist at heart – it is in my nature to convince people of the right thing. These days the right thing is getting harder and harder to find. Even in the wrong thing there is a right thing, and most certainly a right way – and these days that is overlooked and disregarded. It is tuff being in the middle.
I had grand plans of this post making sense – and the long and short of it is that it doesn’t, and in an effort to not pertetuate things it won’t.
Let’s just say that there is a lot less space between right and wrong than people think, and that it is hard keeping the wrong out of your right.
Ugh. October 12, 2010
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I don’t write in the afternoon much. If you were here you would see why. 10 yr old running away from homework, 5 yr swinging around the living room, 3 yr old raiding the fridge, and the 10 month old – he is doing what he has done ALL day. Cry. Whine. Scream. Chalk it up to the joys of teething – since he is typically a fairly happy guy.
Today hasn’t been good. I ditched the dog outside to wait for Kevin to get home. After prying toys from her mouth, being yanked around by her on the way to get Kyle off the bus, I needed a time out. The kids have had a bad day, and we couldn’t get out because we were waiting for the phone company to come and repair the line. They did – that was good…
All I want is for Kevin to walk through the door so I can sneak off and have a nap. I had plans to make supper – Roast chicken… Not now. That has been postponed until further notice. I thought I might be able to throw together Mac ‘n Cheese. Nope. If Kevin walks through the door NOW – I might survive…
So much for that pipe dream.
Never. Moving. Again. October 11, 2010
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This whole moving out west saga has really done a number on me. When we found out about the job, and started to plan to move out there I was very hopeful, and even thought that we would commit to live there permanently. We got out there, and although there were some good times (such as Micah’s birth), it didn’t make up for the bad. The isolation. The constant fight to break into what is a very closed social community. They (westerners) get all uppity about Toronto thinking they are the centre of the universe – but in turn they are about as friendly as… Aw – forget it. Needless to say we didn’t fit. Sure some close friends wanted us to stay, but there just was not enough support. Add on the issues we had with our landlord, and we couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
After being thrust out of our place a mere 2 months before we were to move to Ontario (so the house could sit empty) we stayed short-term in a small two bedroom place with borrowed furniture and house wares. Before moving there – since we only had 5 weeks notice, we hired the moving company to pack for us too. That was possibly one of the worst decisions of the entire fiasco. They came. They complained that we had a lot of stuff. Broke a few things, and left. Now – almost 3 months later I STILL can’t find my vacuum cleaner hose. SERIOUSLY! Why wasn’t it attached to the vacuum!? A mystery for the ages at this point I dare say…
I also didn’t shop around for movers on the move back. I was happy with the previous move, so felt that it was an easy decision to use them again. Nope. First, their packers were awful, and when they delivered our things here, they could not leave fast enough. Secondly, last time they replaced the mirrors and such that were taken off for the move, and this time – nothing. We could barely get them to help put the beds together. A full two weeks later, and I am still not able to sleep in my own bed, and the house is full of boxes. With four kids jumping around it is not POSSIBLE to get things done on my own – Kevin is away at work all day, his parents work during the week, and my Dad is in Europe, and my mom is at home – recuperating from helping us last week. To say I feel hopeless about this, is an understatement.
I am tired. I am sore. I am tired of digging through boxes for everything. I am tired of transitioning. I am tired of packing, and boxes, and trying to fit in with new social circles.
Sorry about the whine. I am off to find some cheese…
Hello. Did you miss me? Hello? Hello? HELLO!!! Nope. No one here. October 10, 2010
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We just got back from the in-laws where we stuffed ourselves with a turkey dinner, and we finished off the day with a supper of pie and coffee. Yup. This is Thanksgiving in Canada – and I have not written in over three months if my math is correct – which it might not be, but who cares.
We had a good last few months in Manitoba, trying to make the most of visiting friends, and doing the things that we might have wanted to do after we left. When I get to sorting out my pictures from the last few months I will try to post on the events.
Things were stressful there for a bit while we debated where we were going to live. We pondered a bunch of communities, but settled on the metropolis of St. Marys Ontario. Yup. You read that right. No ‘. There should be I think, but then I didn’t name the place. Also – don’t call it quaint. They don’t like that here. It has most of what you need, as long as you don’t need clothes or shoes, as pointed out by my MIL. Good point. There is a nice independent bookstore, restaurants, coffee shop, craft stores, hardware, and pet shops. Really it is just missing the clothes and shoes. Hopefully some enthusiastic entrepreneur will read this and decide they want to open a shop for clothes and shoes, and that St. Marys is the perfect place to do it.
The house we are in is a big old farmhouse with lots of rooms and space. It will be nicer once the painting and unpacking is done, but it is nice to have our own place. The in-laws (who are now about 10 minutes away) were instrumental in finding this place. They did a fabulous job! The landlord is great, and is a solid guy – working himself to the bone to make things right. There has been lots of opportunity for it too. Turns out a bunch of wasps found their way into the walls and built themselves a big old nest, and it was a good week long job killing the wasps, getting rid of the nest, sealing their entry point, and fixing the wall. We are hoping to paint in there this week, and be able to use that room! The yard is great for the kids and the dog. Yup. You heard it. We got a dog. Gluttons for punishment. What can I say? Lastly I have a clothes line. I have waited for 6 years for a good clothes line, and this is it. I wish we could stay here forever, but I will be happy to stay until we can save up and buy a place. We are praying that Kevin can keep getting work in the area so that we and the kids can just stop moving. This one really did us in.
Well, it’s been a slice, but I have to run. I came on to send an email to the BIL, and got distracted. Hi again though. :)
Hello Blog. Did you miss me? July 1, 2010
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Og gosh. Brittany is echoing through my mind with her ditty “Oops, I did it again”, although in all fairness when it comes to me and my writing it is more like “Oops, I didn’t do it again”. As in writing that is.
There has just been too much happening here to recount and catch up my throngs of followers on (note sarcasm, empty, echoing void of the internet…). In short there are moves, and broken bones, and disappointments aplenty. In all fairness there have been some high points too, although they are hard to see from where I am right now. The long and short of it is that I am facing a move that will span 2 months minimum, and the interm will see us without our stuff. I am trying to get things organized in a way that I won’t miss it, but I am feeling like that is unlikely. It will be interesting to see how much I want back once we get settled.
What’s in the cards for this month? Finding a place to live in Ontario, Kevin finding work for the winter, and getting the kids into routine of schooling on the go. Routine might just become my favourite word.
I have made a lofty plan for the day to see if I navigate it more gracefully, so I must run. Later Gater. See you after my day.
Beautiful Things Happen When A Woman Trusts God February 25, 2010
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After seeing a book review on my cousin’s blog where he had an ad to get books for free in exchange for doing a review. I knew I had to find out about it. THAT is my budget for books, and I LOVE books! I promptly visited Booksneeze.com, and sure enough there was a book listed that I was excited to read. It was “Beautiful Things Happen When A Woman Trusts God by Sheila Walsh. I signed up right way, danced the happy dance when the book came in the mail, and proceeded to read.
In the book she takes you through events in her own life that resulted in her trusting God, and introduced you to biblical figures who exemplify various aspects of trust in God. I found myself relating to her story, even though the journeys are different. At the beginning, and again at the end, Sheila talks about trust in God using the analogy of a swing, which for me, tied everything together.
I ended up liking most things about this book. It is captivating (I spent days walking around with a book in front of face), inspiring, informative and speaks right to your soul. I enjoyed hearing about the authors struggles, and how each of the biblical people brought her a lesson about trust, and how it played out in her faith walk. I found it a fair easy read, as the length of time it took to read was not reflective of its readability per se – but more on that later. I loved the way the chapters were laid out, with quotes that focused in on where she was going before each chapter. I also liked the way she talked about the biblical people, and focused in on one aspect of their life (trust in God). Despite growing up in a church with a huge focus on Bible knowledge, I feel like I learned something about each of these people that was new. I also like that the questions for a bible study were in the back of the book. It makes it concise and accessible which I really appreciated.
There were a few aspects that I didn’t like, and although few, I found some extremely annoying. The first refers back to the readability. Although most of the quotes from the Bible noted the ‘translation’ is was from, not all did – which may be more of an editing issue than anything. Related to that I was also frustrated at the amount of times that the book referred to The Message. For day to day reading The Message can help to make the Bible a little more straight forward, but when it comes down to brass tacks it is a paraphrase instead of an actual translation, and as thus is not appropriate for a reference. This particularly bothered me with some of The Message’s more ‘new age’ terminology (Matthew referring to ‘rhythms of grace’ for instance). Her points could have been just as easily backed up by quotes from actual translations (traditional or modern), and would have thusly, carried more weight. My last comment is along the same lines. Sometimes when I read a comment she had made about some of the people (such as Anna’s history) or the times, I wished she had a footnote to reference the source of the information. It is a bit of a nit-picky academic thing, but would have raised the readability (not having to look up the references), and the creditability of the book.
Over all I say “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.” There are definitely ways that it could be better, but overall is a good book, and a good lesson.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Betrayed February 22, 2010
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I haven’t always been where I am, but I thought that you were with me, but you aren’t. You fight me every step. You don’t listen, don’t trust, don’t believe. I gave you one of my most precious gifts, and you gave him away. I couldn’t hear, see, respond. You amputated him, and he DID need me, but couldn’t tell a stranger.
I would like to say that I will never trust you again, but where does that put us? They say you are perfect – who am I to argue?
