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February 9, 2009

Posted by dreamom in Uncategorized.

Even though everyone was sick today, I under took the job of sorting out my clothes.  This is a job that I kept putting off, and finally I did it, as it seemed like the only thing I had the energy to do, and still feel like I had accomplished something toward our big move to Manitoba.

Every time our laundry makes it as far as the armoire I am reminded of the monumentous chore.  Somehow clothes creep into my wardrobe, and then I start to be buried in them.  Once I got into the job I found out exactly how they got there.

The first category that I can sort my clothes into is “Clothes that fit, and I like to wear – but shouldn’t”.  This category is largely yoga pants, tank tops, and sweatshirts.  They are comfy clothes.  I wear them pretty much every day.  I know that Stacey and Clinton from What not to Wear would have a FIELD DAY with that category.  Thinning it down is hard – it is what I like to wear…

The next category is “Clothes that I really like, but they don’t fit”.  This is a hard category to sort.  I really don’t need a shirt that I love taunting me from the “too small pile”.  At the same time, I hate getting rid of a shirt that I would love to fit into.  Partly there is the guilt that I spent money on it, and I am just getting rid of it, without enjoying it properly.  Partly it is like admiting that I will never be the size that I would like, or even approach it…  It feels like I am giving up on losing weight.

The last category is “Clothes that I bought to help me feel better, and I managed to get too big for afterall.”  Barely distinguishable from the last category – this too triggers a lot of guilt.  I thought  I was going to lose weight because I felt good about myself, and instead, I gained more…

When I finally tied up the bag  Iwas fighting back the guilt.  Guilt about the weight gained, and the money spent.  Right now the bag sits labeled on the porch – and I still hate the idea of those things being gone.  I know that I need to let them go though.  On the practical side I can’t reasonably move those things out west with us, but I also need to put those things behind me and start fresh.



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