February 9, 2009Posted by dreamom in Uncategorized.
Even though everyone was sick today, I under took the job of sorting out my clothes. This is a job that I kept putting off, and finally I did it, as it seemed like the only thing I had the energy to do, and still feel like I had accomplished something toward our big move to Manitoba.
Every time our laundry makes it as far as the armoire I am reminded of the monumentous chore. Somehow clothes creep into my wardrobe, and then I start to be buried in them. Once I got into the job I found out exactly how they got there.
The first category that I can sort my clothes into is “Clothes that fit, and I like to wear – but shouldn’t”. This category is largely yoga pants, tank tops, and sweatshirts. They are comfy clothes. I wear them pretty much every day. I know that Stacey and Clinton from What not to Wear would have a FIELD DAY with that category. Thinning it down is hard – it is what I like to wear…
The next category is “Clothes that I really like, but they don’t fit”. This is a hard category to sort. I really don’t need a shirt that I love taunting me from the “too small pile”. At the same time, I hate getting rid of a shirt that I would love to fit into. Partly there is the guilt that I spent money on it, and I am just getting rid of it, without enjoying it properly. Partly it is like admiting that I will never be the size that I would like, or even approach it… It feels like I am giving up on losing weight.
The last category is “Clothes that I bought to help me feel better, and I managed to get too big for afterall.” Barely distinguishable from the last category – this too triggers a lot of guilt. I thought I was going to lose weight because I felt good about myself, and instead, I gained more…
When I finally tied up the bag Iwas fighting back the guilt. Guilt about the weight gained, and the money spent. Right now the bag sits labeled on the porch – and I still hate the idea of those things being gone. I know that I need to let them go though. On the practical side I can’t reasonably move those things out west with us, but I also need to put those things behind me and start fresh.