A New You in the New Year… January 3, 2010Posted by dreamom in Uncategorized.
I find myself reflecting on the New Year with a certain… Apprehension. It has been a big year for us. Kevin got a job, we moved half way across the country, and we had a baby all in one year. Add to that the fact that I am naturally at a low point due to the winter being on us – it is not the time for me to reflect.
With all the reflection talk and the natural reflection that happens when you are in a period of adjustment it is hard to get away from it. This time it was okay – I have had a bit of an epiphany. We tend to approach the New Year like it is a chance to have a ‘do over’, or a mulligan (kids are playing Wii Golf in the background 🙂 ) We focus on all the things that we want to change, and the ways that we were unhappy – you know – I want to lose weight, have a tidier house, do x better than last year, or in the case of my sister who is already a crazy cat lady in the making ‘take better care of my cat’…
When did people decide that the New Year was a time to criticize ourselves on our failings, to create an impossible situation for ourselves in terms of living up to our resolutions, or inclinations, thus creating a repeat the following year?
My Mom will sometimes point out when I am at my wits end with my 9 yo, that “he responds really well to positive reinforcement.” Although it can irritate the heck out of me – I know she is gently pointing out “and right now that is not what you are doing.” Well. Guess what. That apple did not fall far from the tree. The reason for that is that the human race comes from that same tree. Have you ever heard that it takes 10 positives to make up for one negative comment? Every New Year, when half the world is battling the winter blues we decide to chastise ourselves for the maybe, woulda, couldas.
This year I am not doing that. Don’t get me wrong. There is TONNES I could, and should change. But here is my New Years list.
This past year I
1. Had an amazing homebirth, and realized that is my ideal birthing situation
2. Started teaching Libby to read, and have seen that YES. I can teach her things, and homeschooling will work if I want it too.
3. I moved my family to a small close knit community where we get to experience more of what our huge country has to offer, and the kids are enjoying it.
4. I have been learning to implement new routines, and recognize when I need to change things up to keep the family functioning.
5. Have made some great friends that I know I will have for a life time.
6. Have finally found a sport (geocaching) that I enjoy, and can’t wait to do more of.
7. Am looking forward to my sister and BIL adopting in the next year.
8. Am enjoying seeing my Mom be the strongest she has been in years.
9. Accepting that sometimes I do need to change things, and when I do that I can do it one thing, one time at a time.
10. I will look for the positives and not look so hard at the negatives, and will enjoy seeing what a little positive reinforcement can do.
Happy New Years! Here is to a great 2010!