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Dear Mom May 11, 2014

Posted by dreamom in Uncategorized.
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Mom,

   I thought about wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day on Facebook, but you are not on Facebook, so you would have to hear about it from someone else.  Instead I will do it here.  Because you DO read blogs.  And I believe, if I bother to write in mine, that you read MY blog.  🙂

   I am thankful to you for the way you mothered me.  I am thankful for you being a stay at home mom, in a world where it was not the norm anymore.  You taught me that regardless of the poor pay and lack of social credit, that it IS a worthy endeavour.  Although I felt horribly deprived NEVER having a house key (I NEVER needed it!), I definitely benefited in other ways.  I got to have my mom look after me when I was sick (and the odd time too stressed out to go to school).  I remember sitting on a bus on our way to a field trip and I was SO proud that my mom was a parent volunteer.  I was always excited to have you at the school serving my classmates and I hot dogs.  I was less excited to have you at school for fluoride day, but that wasn’t your fault 🙂  

  I didn’t know growing up, but I have come to see, parenting my own ADHD LD kid just how much MORE you did.  School meetings advocating for me (and my siblings), and ultimately teaching me to advocate for myself, and now my own child.  It has really been the school of experience that has showed me the time, effort, research, and tenacity that was involved in that role.  Still today you are doing it, as you talk me through some of my plans, and gently guide me.  And you are still teaching me the finer art of advocacy as I advocate for my child in a crazy school system that does not meet his needs.

   You have taught me to care about people, and to listen to people, and Dad and my husband might also say how to talk to people.  And talk, and talk, and talk.  And although it is fun to joke, the fact is that while you are talking you are listening, and while you are listening you are caring, and you have a way of following up on things, and being able to talk them out to a resolution.  I remember days in the rough storm of teenagehood when you would sit on the kitchen floor with me with tea, and we would talk.  Now my oldest, and sometimes my second oldest, while in the throws of an emotional storm will say “I want to talk to Nana.”  I believe that it isn’t because they think you can change anything, but rather they know you will listen, and will likely understand them.  I am glad that my children have you as a sounding board.

   As much as you listen to my kids and hear their woes, it is wonderful how you don’t undermine me.  You always respect me as their parent, and in those times where you are not sure you agree with my approach you always bring it up gently and privately as to not create division.  I am constantly learning how to parent from you, but I am also learning how to grandparent, and I can only hope to have half the grace and wisdom of you.  

   That said it is always an encouragement to hear you say that you wish you had done something the way I am now, and you must know that any of those things were ultimately due to your example.  Thank you for the example you were (and are) to me.

   As I prepare to spend my Mother’s Day surrounded by my brood (who have been whispering and scheming…), yours is more scattered.  I hope that through all the cards, visits, and calls, that you remember that we all love you.  Thank you for the giving us the gift of you, your time and your energy.  Thank you for continuing to give that to us whenever we need it.  

  All this to say – Have a very Happy Mother’s Day, and thank you for being you.

 

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