A Resolution September 7, 2009Posted by dreamom in family, Happiness, Home, Life, Writing.
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Looking around her house she could barely recognize it. What were usually familiar and comfortable surroundings, now seemed cold and foreign. The routines and habits that, although not perfect, always seemed to work to best were interrupted, and new paths to finding balance were proving impossible.
It isn’t like she wasn’t used to criticism. Besides the fact that most in her position were very used to it – the voice that usually was the most critical was usually her own. For some reason hearing the tone from others cut deeper, and hurt more. She would like to think that it was innocent, and that they didn’t realize how they came across. There was too much water under the bridge to believe that for long.
They knew what the words meant, and they knew how they hurt – but they didn’t seem to know that nothing would change. It isn’t that she didn’t want to change, and be acceptable – she had tried that. Over and over, and over again. No matter what course of action she took, the outcome was the same. She knew by now that she had to stay true to herself. Indeed, that was the one thing that she could cling to in times like this. Yet at times like this she would curl up in bed and wonder how deep the pain goes before it stops? How much can you hurt before you are numb? Why was everything she said and did SO wrong, and yet the way they treated her was not?
Although, these questions had no answers – this she did know. In the morning she would get up. She would continue to fight to preserve her image as being a worthwhile human being to her husband and children in the face of opposition. And it would be a cold day in hell with pigs flying about before an invitation was made, or as in this case, an announcement of arrival was received positively. Well – with the exception of positively NOT!